For a father there are little moments of unadulterated terror. For teen fathers it is all terror – at least for me. You see the life you imagined dissolving into the life you’ve chosen. I’m not complaining – my daughter was the single best gift of my life – but the reality is nothing can… [Read more…]
Recently, I started an attempt to renegotiate the reality of my past in order to create a more authentic future. Most of you probably have a history of negotiating successful, open loving relationships in a more traditional mold. I haven’t, and as a result, many of the things others take for granted, I am forced… [Read more…]
Yesterday, I was criticized. It wasn’t even constructive. It is not a surprise actually. Everyone has critics in life: people who look and judge and tell you what you do wrong or what you can do better (or how they would do it better). People who respond with a simple “suck it up” or “buck up” or “shut… [Read more…]
The problem with being an emotional hoarder is that you never throw anything away. Which is after all, the definition of a person who hordes. Pretty soon there isn’t room for anything new because the old is crowding up the place. There isn’t room for new events, memories, people or opportunities. It is just like… [Read more…]
Resolutions suck. As such long time ago I stopped making them. They are silly and often left me feeling as if I was a failure. I can be hypercritical so I took little comfort in my victories and often obsessed about my failures. The result is often feelings of shame and frustrations. However, as part… [Read more…]
Does my daughter hate me? Probably not. Honestly, just because something feels true doesn’t make it so. Sometimes I forget. I wrote this series six years ago as an outlet for the feelings of loss and pain I was feeling. Our daughter was 15 at the time. She is 21 now. I’ve learned there are… [Read more…]
Knowing all my lessons, my responsibilities and my obligations the lingering question becomes an issue of when to call. When do I reach out and let her know that not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. Do I call at high school graduation, Christmas, birthdays, holidays, weekdays or Mondays? There is… [Read more…]
For a long time my choices tied my life into a seemingly inescapable Gordian Knot: a knot inadvertently binding those I love (and hated) to a life of chaos and confusion. I tried everything I could think of to untie the knot. Often my best thinking made it worse. ”The significant problems we face cannot be… [Read more…]
Don’t misunderstand – I’m not defending my choices – most of them are beyond defending. However, there is a difference between being defensive and being honest. The former is a result of pride the latter humility. Knowing what I know today I would do most of it differently. But I didn’t know and cannot change… [Read more…]
Growing up in the hill country of West Virginia my dad is full of colloquialisms. He is constantly saying things like, “That’s slicker than an eel in a bucket of snot,” or this thing or that is “slower than molasses”. On more than one occasion he has suggested not coming between, “a she-bear and her… [Read more…]
December 9, 2011
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